Lifestyle

Hedge Fund Manager Offends On 'Daily Show'

Jun 27 2013 | 9:53am ET

A self-proclaimed hedge fund manager did his very best this week to confirm as many negative stereotypes about the industry as possible.

John Tabacco appeared on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" on Monday to offer his thoughts on, among other things, Sen. Elizabeth Warren and Canada.

"We don't need these socialist forms of regulation—the Elizabeth Warrens of the world coming down and sticking their little fingers and micromanaging the capital markets," he told Daily Show correspondent Jason Jones.

"So if these women came down with their little hands, what would we wind up looking like?"

"We'd start looking a hell of a lot more like Canada," Tabacco said, before asserting, "the American financial system is the last bastion of free-market capitalism in the world. It's the greatest system the world has ever known."

"What about the statistical evidence that shows otherwise?" Jones queried.

"What statistical evidence?"

"Well, since 1790, the U.S. has had 16 banking crises and Canada has had zero."

"There have been bubbles and bursts in the U.S.," Tabacco conceded, "but if you're educated and you're prepared you should be able to profit."

Tabacco was credited as the manager of the Fortified Funds, and has appeared on Fox Business Network on their behalf in the past. But according to Business Insider, Fortified is not registered with the Securities and Exchange Commission, and Tabacco's LinkedIn profile identifies him as the head of Internet broadcaster Tabacco Media.

Tabacco does have a stock-trading background, having run LocateStock.com. He's also registered with FINRA, but his check record hasn't been updated in nearly two decades. And Tabacco was fined $50,000 and barred from the National Association of Securities Dealers in 1997 for allowing the execution of transactions in customer accounts without their knowledge or authorization.

On the other hand, he's very good at keep his name in the media. In addition to his recent television appearances, he and his brother—who has graced several reality television shows—organized "Occupy a Desk" in response to the Occupy Wall Street movement. And the two are known for their party van, P2, which they drive around New York.

To ensure he had offended as many people as possible, Jones then asked Tabacco to tell a joke. He eagerly complied.

"What's the difference between jelly and jam?" Tabacco asked. "You can't jelly a cock in a girl's mouth."


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